Craving for her LOVE

Every morning i wake up and found out that my bed is wet,

I sweat alot

I had nightmares these few days after 24th of DEC 2010

There is this night I onli had a sweet dream but its JUST a DREAM.

I was hoping there are miracles would happen everyday.

I been waiting everyday for the miracle.

Patiently waiting for it. =..(

Its just a simply wish that i could wished for everyday.

A call or a text from her.

But i know it would NOT happen as she might found her new loved ones.

But i will still wait for the day till she text me or call me.

I will wait for the day.

I knew that she does not know that "RO" separates us away and keep us far away.

She does not know bout it.

I guess all she knew is blaming that am heartless and does not care bout her at all.

Wherelse i do care,everynight i was waiting for her call or text.

Cause i can't call her or even text her as "RO" plays its role.

She don't even know it.

If she do care bout our LOVE.

She would just make a move and text me or call me.

I know she always expect me to do the 1st step.

But i can't for this time.

As "RO" puts in front of us and cuts us off.

She don't even know bout it.

If she knows about it and she cares bout it.

She would not care about "the guys should make the 1st step"

She will automatically make the 1st step.

But i know she won't.

But i will still wait for the day.

U can't expect me to do the 1st step anymore

As u make a "RO" to kill both of us and cut us off.

Its all in your hand and the 1st step to be made is in your hand.

i will patiently wait till the day where miracle happens.

I will wait for her text and call.

I will.

I will pray hard and harder.

=..(

*Listen to Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion*

My Heart Will Still Go On for YOU...=..)

Sing along with me and you will know hw am I feeling right now?

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

(URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6YVrRn0_kI)

Every night in my dreams

I see you. I feel you.

That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance

And spaces between us

You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time

And last for a lifetime

And never go till we're one

Love was when I loved you

One true time I hold to

In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are

I believe that the heart does go on

Once more you open the door

And you're here in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not

go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,

And I know that my heart will go on

We'll stay forever this way

You are safe in my heart

And my heart will go on and on

U wouldn't know how much i heart her and miss her every single moment, Thinking of her whenever i go, wherever I am, whenever I am having my meal, whenever before i sleeps, even i dream bout her. But standing at this point, i can't see her at all or even touch her or hug her or kiss her lips and cheeks, forehead, nose and neck.

A "RO" just play apart to separate both of us. Its just like a razor cutting of our veins leaving it to bleed. =..(

I just can't STOP thking bout her and missing her..=..(

I miss smelling her lips, playing with her hair, smelling her hair.

Kissing all over her face.

I miss the moment when i use to hug her till she sleeps.

I miss the moment when i always force her to say good night to me with the title "Hubby"

I miss the moment when i hug her when she was watching her drama series.

I miss the moment when i slept on her laps while she was watching her drama series.

I miss the moment when i force her to hold my hand in the car.

I miss the moment when she smells my neck and body.

I miss the moment she calls me HUBBY.

I miss the moment she takes good care of me whenever i am sick.

I miss the moment she calls me and texted me.

I miss the moment when she ask me to drive safe or ride safe.

I miss the moment when we use to skype till both of us fall asleep although we are far apart.

I miss the moment when she slept on my chest.

I miss the moment when she secretly kiss me all over my face when i'm asleep.

I miss the moment when we went over to OM restaurant for dinner.

I miss the moment when she hugs me till i sleeps.

I miss the moment when she say Good night Hubby and Love u too Hubby before we fall to sleep.

I just can't stop thinking.

Will she get to know that am missing her all the time?

Will she stop assuming things that i never done before and i would not do it in future even forever?

Will she miss me?

Will she still hearts me alot?

Will she know tat "RO" puts us far apart?

Will she text me and talk to me even "RO" puts us far apart?

Will she know that i heart her a lot?

Will she know every single tears tat leaps on my face for her?

Will she know that am terribly missing her?

Will she know that am desperately wanted to see her and hug her and kiss her?

Does she knows that i still LOVE her so much?

Does she knows that what ever she thinks negatively about me will not happen and i will not do it?

Does she still loves me?

Does she still hearts me alot?

Does she missing me all the time whenever she is and whenever she is doing?

Does sneezing two days straight up is a significant that your loved one missing u badly? *hopefully it is*

My heart will still go on for u no matter hw far apart we are?

No matter hw big the barrier is!

Sing with me and listen with me...

My heart will go on by Celine Dion.

=..(

Nights my loved one

Praying hard she would be alright

Wishing her happy and joyful always

Sending her flying kisses =* =* =* =* =* =* =*

Loving her all the time

=..)

A Quote for the Day

When you was young and energetic, u can still fight over a small thing or misunderstand, but once your age reaches 40-65 years old, you will tend to get neglected by your family, felt disowned a happy and joyful family. Kids will run away as they sees your bad temper arise. They would run to their father or mother side. They will feel scary. Your husband or wife might divorce you for the sake of the family leaving no HARM to their family. If you don't appreciate your loved ones now, u might just lose a good one and u might get a bad one in return and finally its too late to get regret. So respect him and appreciate what good deeds that he or she done to u before its too late. Control your bad temper and change your BAD behavior and BAD attitudes before your future husband or wife run away from u nor even your kids scared of u and run AWAY from u. So change yourself,its not too late.its all in your hand and your heart to change yourself or leaving it to get worst and later on get regret and its too late. U wouldn't want to see your kids run away from u and your husband or wife divorce u and at the end u get nothing but to get regret. By that time u will be LONELY FOREVER perhaps becoming a widow or bachelor.

"Its not too LATE to change yourself"

"But it would be too LATE to get regret"

Sneezing all the time,hmmm =..(

I was tempting to find her all the time but i just CAN'T

She knows well why i can't look for her.

She made it up.

Till a certain point a restrain order came up.

Even at the end we can't make it to be one

But i was hoping to be her side and support her always

And urging her to change her bad attitude and bad behavior.

Most important is minimizing her BAD TEMPER.

But after the restrain order came up.

i won't be there always to support her and care bout her anymore.

What i can do is wishing and praying hard she will be happy and alright all the time although hw near and far our distance.

Hopefully she would reflex back and thk back on hw she looks alike when she is in bad temper.

So we would know and she would change but she won't cause she said so before.

If u don't change your bad attitude and behavior and minimize your bad temper.

if u get the next partner =..(

u would know NOT sty long in that relationship

i can bet that she might get hurt easily and she get dumped easily

She might also get cheated for her "NAIVEness"

it time for her to wake up

i might not be your one but i would do as much i can to care bout u and support u from the back without your realizing.

u dunno and u will not expect i do so but when the day comes to u,u will know but its too late to get regret.

IF she does not have the 4 backup reports and restrain order,i guess we still can be friends even i can't be your loved ones.

but its too late.

No matter hw much hard wrk i put into to mend us back

The restrain order will just play apart as a razor to cut us far apart.

Is this what u need?

U get it now.

This is what u want?

U get it now.

This is what u wished for?

Finally u achieved it.

I was happy and joyful when i flash back our great and good memories together.

i was pissed when i thk of our negative and bad memories.

its all done and i need to get it done also.

Even u want to curse me and my family and accuse me.

its all on your hand and i doesn't care much anymore cause i can't care bout it anymore.

Loving u and missing u all the time would sty in me all the time

it might turns up to be your last drama series that u had watched as u don't really care.

Learn to "forgive and forget"

This would help u to feel better.

Thk of good memories than bad memories.

Try to t aolerate.

Be confidence in yourself in changing your self to provide a better 2mrw.(i bliv u can do it)

Stop assuming and stop simply thk.

This is what the DEVIL that forcing u to do it all the time.

KICK him out from your heart and let GOD guide u.

At the end, we can't turn up to be one.

But am looking forward to be your most ever closest friend who can be there whenever u need and to comfort u.

I might not turn up to be your life partner.

But i hope to remain in your heart and support u and care for u always.

I will not interfere into your love life but caring our friendship and maintaining our good and great memories.

I know u won't come and look for me or even text me.

i was tempting to text u and call u and even come and look for u BUT i just can't cause u know why???

It all on your hand and decision is all yours.

Hope to hear from her soon.

Day by day waiting for it.

Day by day waiting for her text or a greeting from her.

Day by day waiting for her call.

*Tears leaping all over *

*Heart break*

=..(

Emo and Heart break =..(

Till nw she keep on simply thk and simply assume.

She can't help anymore..

Hw can't she claim tat i found my replacement. back up,my life??

Its all bullshit..

She dunno anything at all,she dunno hw much i suffer and hw much torturing i am?

I realize my foolishness tat she cheated on me this time not me who is the one who cheated and betrayed on her?

She even dare to lie to me saying that she did not file any report against me although its not my wrong.

And finally i found out that there she has backup of 3 reports against me + the current one resulting total of 4 reports.

What is this man?

But its all done.

I realise my stupidness.

Th officer even advice me to do report against her earlier on since she slapped u in the 1st place and hit u in the 1st place not until a point she has all the backup.

This is so obvious that she has backup plan all the time NOT me.hmmm

HW disappointed am i to her?

=..(

This is what i knew from the officer.

IF your gf or bf hit u in the 1st place even just a slap,quickly go and make a report although your gf slapped u and she claimed tat she can and u can't.

There is no special right whom protect her all the time.

As long she slapped u in the 1st place and u did not defence yourself,u r allowed to make a report against her no matter she HIT u 1st in the 1st place.

Hw stupid i am?

i thought it would be a small thing but she made it.

To her

Friends always remain her priority than her bf.

This time i really get fooled.

Friends can always turn against u and backstab u without u realizing them.

Friends can be there for u but not all the time if not a life partner would exist in this world and u don't even need one.

Your friends also do have their partner and their life and can't care much bout your stuff except your bf DO.

u wouldn't understand all u know is blaming ppl for your wrong deeds.

One day u will realize hw good am treating u and even hw bad u treat me i wil stil tolerate u and bare with u.

U will regret one day.

i will wait for that day u REGRET and u found out its too late.

i will wait cause till nw u still find yourself that u r right.

u will not tolerate and u will not give out a step =..(

What u want to revenge against me is all done!!!

Am gonna chase my life back with a better tomorrow.

it would be an unforgettable moment and day for me!

U would not chase me back even u r wrong.

u will not find me although u r wrong cause u thk u r right all the time and u thk tat i easy to get bullied and easy to get comfort and easily will come and look for u even its your wrong,but i won't be so foolish anymore.

u want to thk too much and accuse ppl.

Is all yours and its on your hand?

i won't bother at all.

As a friend will just comfort u and ask u to keep it up

If a closer friend will ask u to change your behavior and your bad attitude, and minimize your bad TEMPER.

Cause a friend will always don' tell u the sad side of u in order to maintain their friendship.

Thk about it and one day u will realize that what i had said earlier is true.

I know u won't change but its all for your own good sake.

Your bad temper is getting worst as u didn't even realize at all.

U really need to change your self to provide a better 2mrw and better environment.

its all up to u not on me anymore.

=..(

It's just a DREAM...=..(

Why can't good dreams happen in real life? Bad dreams or nightmares remain in the trash bin?

I woke up this morning and i keep forcing myself to sleep back so i could continue my sweet dream but i can't,hmmm.i just want to know the ending but i can't,hmmm..i dream that after all the things happened, i turn up to find her,and she hug me tightly and i hug her tight enough tat she can't let me go.We slept together and watch her drama series together, hugging her the whole night to sleep with her. But its just a dream..=..(

*tears leaping & can't stop thking of her,arghhh*